Experts in the field of dating and relationships, based in London, UK, have scientifically substantiated the rationale behind waiting for 90 days before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner.
The 90-day dating rule gained prominence through the popular television personality and author of “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” Steve Harvey. Harvey introduced this rule as a means for women to steer clear of relationship difficulties by distinguishing between individuals seeking a committed relationship and those merely looking for casual encounters.
Stephen and Ebun Hammond, a husband and wife duo and dating coaches at Love Dimensions, have been assisting singles in finding love for over five years. They took it upon themselves to subject Harvey’s rule to scrutiny, examining whether it held scientific merit. It turns out, Harvey was indeed onto something!
Stephen explained, “Our initial focus was to explore what scientific research could reveal about the impact of hormones in love-related situations. It is widely known that sexual attraction in both men and women is triggered by a combination of hormones, including testosterone, dopamine, and adrenaline (also known as epinephrine). These hormones generate the exhilarating rush of excitement and euphoria experienced during the early stages of dating and falling in love, driving our desire to meet the other person and cultivate a relationship.”
“However,” Stephen continued, “what is less commonly known is that scientific research has shown that it typically takes at least 2-3 months for individuals to develop genuine feelings of love. Hormones play a pivotal role in this process as well. Oxytocin, often referred to as the ‘love hormone,’ is found in women, on average, three times more than in men. It facilitates bonding in relationships. Vasopressin, a lesser-known hormone, is crucial in fostering men’s inclination towards monogamy and protective behaviors within a relationship. Yet, just as emotional attachment in men requires time to develop, their testosterone levels need to decrease to allow oxytocin and vasopressin to take effect. Testosterone is a vital chemical element influencing love attraction in both genders.”
In cautioning women about the perils of rushing into commitment prematurely, Ebun stated, “Let’s be honest, dating should be about having fun. However, based on our experience, if women don’t allocate sufficient time to truly get to know someone, they are more likely to end up with emotionally unstable partners or risk becoming victims of domestic violence. The 90-day rule serves as a significant preventive measure against either of these outcomes. It is a sound scientific principle that we wholeheartedly endorse and encourage all our clients to follow.”