Nancy Haines, confidence coach and host of The Art of Being You, says the UK is experiencing a loss of individuality fuelled by comparison and societal pressure.
Growing evidence shows that social media culture is contributing to heightened anxiety and reduced self-esteem, particularly among women navigating modern expectations.
Nancy’s journey began in HR roles across Los Angeles before a move to Dubai, where she recognised how striving to fit in can diminish authenticity.
“When I moved abroad, I completely lost my identity,” she said. “Like many expatriates, I muted myself to belong. On the outside, I appeared successful, but inside I felt completely disconnected from who I really was.”
Throughout her career, she encountered women who felt uncertain of their worth and disconnected from their true selves. This motivated her to establish The Center of Confidence in Dubai in 2017. Now in London, she continues her work helping others strengthen self-trust, confidence and individuality.
Recent research highlights the urgency of her message. The Dove Self Esteem Project has found that over half of young people worldwide do not feel good about the way they look, with social media amplifying these pressures.
In the UK, ONS figures showed that average ratings of personal well-being have declined across all measures in the year ending March 2023, with life satisfaction down to 7.45 out of 10 and anxiety increasing to 3.23 out of 10. While this may not seem significant, it translates to only 52% of the population experiencing life satisfaction, for example, or 35 million people in the UK. Women report higher levels of anxiety than men, with over a quarter affected compared with one in five men.
“We die a thousand little deaths by comparison on social media,” Nancy said. “We are living up to what influencers tell us we should like or want, and in the process we forget what we actually value. Are we truly living, or are we just buying things, ticking boxes, and then thinking, ‘now what?’”
Nancy points to cultural examples that highlight the importance of authenticity and self-discovery, such as Victoria Beckham’s new Netflix documentary. In it, Victoria shares how her Spice Girls bandmates helped her feel confident in her own skin and how she instils that same message in her daughter, Harper. Despite personal and business setbacks, Victoria made a deliberate reset to be more authentic in her work and life, relying on both emotional and financial support from David Beckham while ensuring her creativity and identity remained central.
“Victoria’s story shows that true confidence comes from knowing who you are and being willing to follow your own path, even when it is difficult,” Nancy added. “Society says it values individuality, but it still rewards sameness. Real confidence is not about being louder or more polished, it is about being real. When you stop comparing, you stop performing. That is when fulfilment begins.”
